Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
