He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize