the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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