She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He told me they were just razor bumps!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
