Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
