I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
