also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
