I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
