Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
