i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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