Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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