I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The adults are the big ones right?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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