So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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