i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
