Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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