They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
