why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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