My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
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I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
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If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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