do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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