me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
