Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
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