I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The best revenge is premature balding
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
