but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
