That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
