Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
