You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
