Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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