so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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