It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
