If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
