i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
No stitches, just platelets and will power
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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