so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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