they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just forgot I was standing up.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
