Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
