cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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