We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
