so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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