if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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