if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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