youre lurking in front of me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sober January is a disaster.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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