i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
