covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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