Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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