We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
