my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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