Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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