Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
