yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
