Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
