explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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