I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Pants are for mortals
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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