Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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