dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this will be a night to untag.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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