i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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