bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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