Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
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