well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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