You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
