Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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