K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
