What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
