like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
