THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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