She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
