I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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