apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
