please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
