I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
