Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
