Kareoke will never be a sober sport
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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